Morning Routines & Stuff - Real Talk at 1am

ok so everyone keeps asking me about my "morning routine" since i stopped being constantly late to meetings (mostly lol). fine, here's the actual truth about what changed - no BS productivity guru stuff i promise!!

full disclosure: writing this at 1am cause i still suck at the whole "early to bed" thing. do as i say not as i do? 😅

anyway here's what actually worked for me after like 50 failed attempts at being a "morning person":

tried waking up early... and omg it was ROUGH

k so here's the embarrassing part - i started with like 50 alarms. my roommate HATED me. but now (4 months later) i somehow wake up before my alarm???? still shocked tbh. started with 8am instead of those crazy 5am influencer types cause im not a robot thanks

exercise but make it lazy

listen. i tried the whole intense morning workout thing. lasted 2 days. now i just dance around my room to taylor swift or do some random stretches while watching tiktok. my cat judges me but whatever IT COUNTS

my weird version of meditation

cant sit still to save my life so traditional meditation = nope. buuuut i found out staring at my coffee machine for 10 mins while it does its thing is basically meditation?? its quiet time and i dont look at my phone so... winning?

actually planning stuff (sometimes)

bought a fancy planner. used it for 2 days. now i just write todo lists on my phone while im brushing my teeth. messy but it works?? somehow having a rough plan stops me from spending 3hrs on instagram before actually starting work (usually)

breakfast... or whatever

ok so those aesthetic breakfast bowls on insta? NOT HAPPENING. but i did stop having candy bars for breakfast! now its usually toast or a banana or whatever i can grab that won't make me feel gross by 10am. baby steps right??

the real truth no one talks about:

some days i still wake up late and that's fine

my "morning routine" is different like every day

sometimes meditation is just me lying in bed trying not to check twitter

pretty sure im still doing stretches wrong but my back hurts less so... success??

update: just realized while writing this that i forgot to plan tomorrow. guess im doing that now at 1am instead of in the morning OOPS

honestly the biggest thing i learned is that u don't need to do everything perfectly?? like... my chaotic version of a morning routine still helped somehow. and its way better than my old routine of waking up 10 mins before zoom meetings and pretending my camera was broken

if anyone tells u they do all this stuff perfectly every morning theyre lying or theyre not human. its ok to be a mess sometimes!! (or like... most times in my case)

dm me if u want more real talk about failing at being a proper adult. or if u also talk to ur coffee machine in the morning. we can start a support group.

sam

p.s. its now 1:30am so clearly im still working on that whole "going to bed early" thing 🙃

p.p.s. just knocked over my water bottle trying to post this. guess the universe is telling me to go to sleep?

edit: fixed some typos but probably missed like 50 more. whatever, authenticity right??

(This text is fictional and intended solely to showcase my copywriting skills.)